I tried my hand at teaching - thinking that I'll give my self one school year to prove (especially to myself) that I am indeed in the correct field. I chose a school that was a few skips away from my house so that I can run home to Alex any time of the day. Well, that was the original plan. I'm three months in and I'm already thinking of giving it up.The school is a smallish institution but the teaching load is normal (I think). The pay... to be honest, the pay was one of the major factors that I had to deliberate on before actually taking the post. It is non-existent, and that's being kind. I just decided to accept it anyway since the benefits (not too pricey commute, nearness to my son, etc) hypothetically outweighs the "cost." Boy was I wrong.The first blow was when we lost Alex's yaya and he had to relocate to Parañaque with Mark. My major factor is now 3 hours away and I only get to visit him twice a week.
My students are retarded. Well, not really. I guess you can call them handicapped because they were not equipped with the skills that they ought to have by now. Some of my fourth year high school students even find it difficult to tell the difference between a concrete noun and an abstract one. Honestly, these are lessons for grade 4s and yet they fail to grasp the concepts. Why? Because they are LAZY and APATHETIC! I have never met a more unmotivated group in my whole life. Their world revolves around their own reflections and their love lives. I once, in my first week, had to ask one of my students to please put down her hand mirror and stop grooming herself since I was discussing something important in front. She told me, "Hindi
naman ako tumitingin mam eh," WHILE LOOKING AT HER SELF IN THE FREAKING MIRROR! And this is a girl who consistently gets 3 or lower out of 20 item
seatworks.
My fourth years CANNOT construct grammatically correct sentences.
"Anthony, our last year classmate, is come visit us in the lunch today." Ehh? This was submitted to me when I asked them to write about an event that happened to them earlier that day. And this came out twice, somebody COPIED this sentence because she didn't know what an anecdote is. Honestly! And the students have to gall to talk to you as if you're their
yaya. They don't use "
po" or "
opo". They don't say "thank you," and most of all, they don't say "sorry."
I guess the proverbial straw was when one student in my advisory class (Yes, I was assigned a class on my first year of teaching ever) posted in the class
Friendster account what their teacher in Social Studies told one of their classmates during a fit of rage. I can totally understand why the teacher felt the need to call that particular student "
Gago" inside the classroom. This boy is really a pain and many have already complained about his attitude. I know, as teachers, we have no right to say bad words in class, period... but this teacher was provoked. I'm not saying that what he did was justified, I'm just saying that it was not done for fun. To make the long story short, one of my students quoted the teacher in their class
Friendster account and even named the teacher. Was it not enough that I spend at least twice a week inside the
principal's office because of this class's
misbehavior? That
every time I sit down at the faculty room, one of the teachers would approach me to tell me that one of my "
anaks" slept in their class? Now, I have to run around and apologize for every misbehavior that my advisory class commits.
I hate it. No matter how much I try to motivate these children to act more decently and start respecting their teachers more, I see no
improvement. I'm done. I don't want to defend these kids anymore. I've run out of ideas to help them... and they don't want to be helped anyway. So I'm giving them up. I haven't decided if I want to leave the school for good but I'm definitely going to have the class transferred to another adviser. The job is toxic and it is making me grow bitter about teaching. I'd like to think that this is still worth it... but I'm sacrificing my son's present and future for this? I spend more than my salary to provide my students better visual aids and materials for this? I put my marriage in jeopardy for this? I've had enough.
